The Influence of Allan



At this point in time Fieldism was rapidly approaching a time of transition.  A few monks, drunk on power, began to subtly manipulate the religion of Fieldism.  Max Spirit and Aaron Sakulich created a powerful new sect of Fieldism.  Elrond attempted to expand the influence of Fieldism by creating irrational social service programs.  Fieldism was transformed by the madness of its members and while a few yearn for a simpler time, many look forward to the new future in which Fieldism is a world religion.

The Allanists
One fateful day Max Spirit purchased a box of inflatable furniture on clearance.  Entirely coincidently, Anthony Costantino, and the now deranged Anthony Madonna purchased an identical set of furniture, also on clearance.  These purchases would prove to be the major catalyst of the events leading to the creation of Allan.  It was soon discovered that Max Spirit’s ottoman was a local deity, while the Anthonys’ ottoman was some form of satan.  Where Max Spirit’s local deity brought good fortune, satan brought only violence and destruction.  Crushed between the possessed ottomans and the Weeble menace, the religion of Fieldism was in a time of crisis.  This crisis dissolved however with the creation of Allan.

Allan was born with a command to, “Have but one god before me.”  The time of his existence has been characterized by mixed messages.  No message from Allan has been met without feelings of disbelief, loyalty, confusions, and a host of other contradictory emotions.  The leaders of Fieldism have never agreed on the existence of Allan, with Aaron Sakulich and Max Spirit taking the Pro-Allan side, and Elrond Ytterbium denying the existence of said supernatural being.  But, as with most things in Fieldism, disagreement has never hindered progress.

The Allanists developed ceremonies praising Allan, most of which centered on the ottoman.  The ottoman became the altar of Allan, and the place where the Allanists sacrifice Slim Jims.  Through these ceremonies the nature of Allan was revealed, however they awoke a dangerous force.  Jerome was revealed to Aaron Sakulich in a dream, and is the opposite of Allan.  The only basis for this comparison is that Allan will not watch in the bathroom, while Jerome’s evil deeds almost always occur in the bathroom.

Allan created a deep schism in Fieldism, resulting in several major battles.  The bloodiest battle was the War for the Fields, which ended in a peace treaty, entitled, The Folly of War.  While tensions remain high from time to time, the relative peace gave Elrond a chance to expand Fieldism.

Drexeltopia
Drexeltopia was Elrond’s attempt to create an empire based on the principles of Fieldism.  Unfortunately it suffered from a lack of support from the general Fieldist congregation.  He was unable to fill the cabinet, and furthermore, had no clear idea on how to begin an empire.  The final blow came when Elrond refused the three-point plan of his advisors Aaron Sakulich and Max Spirit: charismatic leadership, stockpiling weapons, and indoctrination of the young.

The Mad Science Institute
Recognizing the need for a school for those aspiring to the mad sciences, Fieldism embarked on an ambitious program to establish the Mad Science Institute.  While still in its formative stages, the Mad Science Institute is on its way to greatness.

The Society for the Advancement of the Drexel Mechanized Zoo
By this time Anthony Madonna had been driven completely insane by the presence of Elrond Ytterbium’s mind, and his own mind had nearly run its course.  He was mainly incoherent save a few precious moments of lucidity.  In his most recent one he demanded the creation of the Society for the Advancement of the Drexel Mechanized Zoo.  Although its purpose is still unclear, the Society was created out of respect for the founder of Fieldism.

At this point, this past of Fieldism has reached the present.  It is currently a strong religion on the verge of a major breakthrough.  The religious engineering program was more successful than anyone could have predicted, and Allan is gaining a foothold in households around the world.  The future is bright for this religion carried on the backs of madmen.

Fini!